Funny Crazy Ernie News and Humor plus
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for December 2010

Our daily comedy news comments:

Some very serious and some naughty XXX nice comedy!

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Crazy Ernie for President 2012

"I promise I WILL NOT STEAL as much as those before me."

"I promise I WILL NOT LIE as much as those before me."

"I promise I WILL NOT CHEAT as much with other women as those before me"

"And, I PROMISE many more friendly guys/gals on adult .69 cent phone chat - 1-888 click here."

Send us the funniest joke you have ever heard

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january 2011 - current month

December 31, 2010

Tonight is New Years Eve
Don't let this be YOU or your friends.

Do NOT drink and drive

Do NOT drink and drive
No further comments - just don't do it, please!

December 30, 2010

This story ended up being total bullshit and a promo stunt
by the Tawnee Stone porn producers.

You have my sincere appology for it as I was duped
along with 1000's of other people that fell for it.

 Porn Star 19 year old Tawnee Stone

19 Year Old Tawnee Stone

Killed in automobile accident.

There is lots of sadness in the adult world today as we learned of the untimely death of porn star Tawnee Stone. This Texas girl was very dedicated and talented in her work as a porn star. Even Crazy Ernie had a crush on her. Such a beautiful girl taken from us in just the beginning of her life. We wish condolences to all her family and friends and may Tawnee RIP. She brought many adult fans, plus her family, great joy in her short life. We will miss you Tawnee. ;-(

December 28, 2010

Think of what you could do if you
had an eyeball implanted on the end of your finger.

Britney Spears looking up her nose

Here is Britney Spears looking in her nose trying
to see if she has some loose boogers ready to appear.

CRAZY ERNIE sez: If you are working on your car and you and drop a nut you can reach your finger down in there and look for it. (grin)
CRAZY ERNIE sez: If you are at a Parade and you are behind people you can reach your hand in the air and watch the whole parade nicely.
CRAZY ERNIE sex: You are at a party and someone accuses you of 'having a wild hair up your ass'. You can discretely walk away and when no one is looking put your hand down the back of your pants and peek around to see if they were right. :=)|

Send us some of your eye on a finger uses now

December 27, 2010

Introduction of future speechless Zombies

Future Speechless Zombies

What the hell are we creating?


CRAZY ERNIES thoughts: I keep seeing it at family gatherings and in the public. Kids, like above, are obscessed with texting. Are these kids going to forget how to talk in the future and be total Zombies tied to a mini-keyboard. At our recent Christmas gathering there was NO LESS than 4 people punching messages into their phones. And, the idiotic thing about it was, some of them were texting to each other when they were sitting only 6-8 foot apart. Is this INSANITY???? Why can't they just TALK to each other???? Are we creating a generation of youth that will eventually be nothing but Zombies???? I was watching my nephew, with a total blank stare on his face, punching at his phone keyboard. I asked him a couple questions and there was NO response - just a sort of blind fanatical stare. 3 others in the room were punching at their phones also. What type of generation are we creating? I see kids coming home from school and over half of them are punching into their phones messages for someone. Probably to the person walking 10' in front of them. Is our kids going to be total trance like idiots that forget how to talk??? I can't say this loud enough:

"Stop texting and start talking where I can hear you ... Please!!!"

December 26, 2010

 What's Up Doc?
Only 364 shopping days left before Christmas!

What's Up Doc

"Elmer Fudd gave me a bag of Cawwots."

CRAZY ERNIE sez: "If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper, what do you a call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea? A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy."
CRAZY ERNIE humor: "My daddy told me when I was 10 that if I keep masturbating that I'll go blind. Assuming he may be wrong I think I'm going to keep it up at least until I need glasses."
CRAZY ERNIE true story: On Christmas day in 1952 I sat in the Ken Theatre, in Frankenmuth, Michigan, with my girlfriend Lucille and played 'stink finger' for 2 hours. She left to go home with her parents. I had to walk 3.5 miles home in the dark. What kept me happy was that I sucked on my finger all the way home. Absolute truth.

I wished now that I'd have went home with her.

Let's fuck right now ... I'm horney!

Bugs Bunny sez: "She's hawt. She can have my cawwot. (grin)"

Christmas Day, December 25, 2010

A Beautiful Zebra grazing in grass

Beautiful Wildlife

This beautiful animal recently passed away

CRAZY ERNIES ZEBRA FRIEND enters Heaven: This is Crazy Ernies favorite animal. It came out every morning to graze so Ernie called her Dawn. Dawn recently passed away. When Dawn got to the Pearly Gates she was met by St. Peter. St. Peter said, "Dawn, do you have any questions?" Dawn replied, "Yes. I have always wondered if I was WHITE with BLACK stripes or was I BLACK with WHITE stripes." Not knowing the answer St. Peter left the Gates to confer with God. St. Peter came back and told Dawn that she was WHITE with BLACK stripes. Dawn wanted to know how he was sure. St. Peter said, "The good Lord said to me 'You are what you are', so that means you are WHITE with BLACK stripes. Dawn looked puzzled so St. Peter said, "If you were BLACK with WHITE stripes the good Lord would have said, 'You is what you is'." NOW, if Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton or Louis Farrahkan read this they will scream RACIST JOKE. Well, it's not racist, it's a history lesson into individual semantics on how people talk and what they understand to be right. Simple as that. NOT RACIST.

December 24, 2010


Ok McDonalds ... Please get your Golden Arches
out of your ASS for Christmas

McDonalds FAIL

Even news people want to know.
Where's the fucking McRib???

Where's the McRib???


Contact McDonalds

CRAZY ERNIE sez: HEY McDONALDS ... it's Christmas time. Do what's right for Phil and others! You create a delicious McRib sandwich, you price it right, people love it ... then you fucking take it OFF your menu. Doesn't anyone at McDonalds have any damn brains. It is a delicious sandwich and people love it ... Please get your Golden Arches out of your ass and BRING IT BACK ... IMMEDIATELY. My friend Phil is starting to lose weight and looking sort of Anorexic since you dropped the McRib off your menu. And now, there is rumors in the industry that you are not going to bring it back in 2011. WHAT?????? I certainly, and so do many others, hope Santa Claus pisses in your fireplace stockings this year. Your marketing people need their brains examined. This is a campaign to HELP SAVE PHIL ... hear us ... HELP SAVE PHIL. Bring back the McRibs ... AND HELP SAVE PHIL NOW. Even CRAZY ERNIE would know what to do about this disaster!

December 23, 2010

Crazy Ernie wishes you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Joe Biden and Walter

That's Funny
CRAZY ERNIE TRUE FABRICATED STORY: Last week it was just unbelievably cold here in Michigan. One morning it was 1.4F at 3am when I got up. My girl friend, Beumadine, started screaming and I ran back inside and found her holding some round golf ball size ice cubes that she found in our bed. We took them out to the kitchen and layed them in a pan. They slowly started to melt and we could hear "Faaaaaarrrrrrtttttt" "Faarrt" "Faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrttttttt" "Fizzy faarrtt" coming from them. It was that cold in bed even. LOL

December 22, 2010

Here is Obama and Biden celebrating ... or bitching about 2010

Sort of funny ... but, in reality, really sad.


CRAZY ERNIE sez: "Know what's the best political joke I heard this year? Barack Obama!"
CRAZY ERNIE sez: "It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy." Ain't that the disgusting real awful truth.

December 21, 2010
Popeye wonders!

"C'mon Matey, what about my main muscle?"



CRAZY ERNIE sez: "Be the life at your Christmas Party. Blow a little air in 2 condoms, tie them to your nipples and try to get them swinging in different directions." :=)
CRAZY ERNIE REPORTS: "TAMPAX has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel..this is for the christmas period only!!"
I asked Crazy Ernie what he wants for Christmas. He said: "A multi-millionaire 21 year old nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store." --- He even said he'd share it with me. (=:| What a guy.
CRAZY ERNIE wants to know: "Why do people buy pencils with erasers on them. Isn't that a secret admission you're going to do something stupid???"

December 20, 2010

Wheeeeeeee! Crazy Ernie is 74 years old today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Are you a Bah Humbug Christmas person??? You'll love this clip.

Now, back to your regular program already in progress. LOL

CRAZY ERNIE SEZ: What is mentally wrong with this sick fucker Kim Jung??? Is he trying to start a war over there??? Is his son just as ILL??? Just as nuts as Achmadinijad in my opinion and I don't know if I spelled this other dickheads name right. Who cares? We all know Iran's so called leader that most of his own people hate. One of these days, and I'm against wars, they are going to meet a challenge that they don't like ... and their people will join in on the overthrow of their stupid idealogical government principals. They need to get ready because I think it's coming.
Is Kim Jung Il really ILL?

Does this insane fucker think he's sexy???


CRAZY ERNIE IS HAPPY: I own a farm in southern Michigan on the Ohio border. Tax people from Ohio came to collect property taxes and told me a recent survey shows my farm is really in Ohio. I said to them, "That's the best fucking news I've heard all week and is a good Christmas present." They said, "What makes you so happy?" I told them, "Thank heavens, FINALLY, NO MORE NASTY COLD BLUSTERY MICHIGAN WINTER WEATHER TO LIVE IN." :=) Duhhhhhhhh! LOL
CRAZY ERNIES DEFINOLOGY: What is a brainfart? - "It's a vertigoian circum-roterary bumpity pitter patter twitch of the inner center cerebellums grey matter storage units - simple as that." LOL

If Kim Jung's picture turned you on
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December 19, 2010

WTF? Am I missing something???

WTF? Where's Pelosi & Reid

Where the fuck is grinning Pelosi and Reid???

WTF? Where's Pelosi & Reid

Obama shaking the hand of Repulican leader.
Is he looking forward to the 2012 election???
You betcha!!

Crazy Ernie sez: "Let's see if I got this right. In the past when President Obama signed one of those Dumbocrats insane bills guess who was there? Yup, you got it right. Nancy Pelosi, grinning from ear to ear, and her dildo sidekick Harry Reid. Hmmmmm, where are they here when Obama signed the new Tax Bill???? Is it possible that these two political freaks are now on the outs with the President??? What creeps these two people are. Even I, from the insane asylum, can see through these two assholes. Is it possible they don't like it that Obama is looking towards 2012 and is slipping gently to the center or even a little towards the right??? Hahahahahah you 2 dickheads."



CRAZY ERNIES MORNING: On the way to pick up his meds today he had to turn a corner real fast this morning, and, at the same exact time he got a boner. When the steering wheel spun back he heard - thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump - and then he found out that windshield washers only wash the OUTSIDE of the windshield. Dammit.
FUNNY CRAZY ERNIE: "Man I hate this damn cold weather. I went outside this morning and took a piss. Had to break a huge big yellow icicle off the end of my dick." Picture that in your mind LOL.

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December 18, 2010

Dear President Obama
Please remove your hands from my pockets because I can "stimulate" myself...thank you!!


CRAZY ERNIES BREAKING NEWS: It has just been reported that Oprah Winfrey has been arrested at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. They said, "She had 10 pounds of crack between her legs." LOL
INTERESTING HOLIDAY FACT: The TSA will handle more packages than the Post Office this year.

December 17, 2010

Does Rap and Hip Hop even come close to being music like this?
Listen to this before you answer.

Can't Smile Without You

Not even close in my opinion, and I'm a professional musician.

It's such a sad shame that Karen Carpenter died in the mid 80's from Anorexia. She was such a talented singer and drummer and with her brother Richard had a live Live TV show called "The Carpenters". I never missed a show it was so good. They were so very talented and her voice was phenomenal on pitch and smoothness. I hope I, someday, get to meet her in Heaven. And please girls and guys ... if you feel you may be headed to Anorexia and losing weight ... GET HELP FAST. Karen didn't get help and wanted to hide it as many Anorexics do. She hid in an upstairs closet and died right there. Gone forever. We miss you Karen ... we really do.

December 16, 2010

(beware of Snowcones)

Beware of Snowcones. LOL



Christmas Shoppers

And, here are some reasons why to wait.

1. Fitness Equipment

There's plenty of time for would-be giftees to work off the yuletide weight gain. Can't it wait 'til everyone else has already broken their New Year's resolutions? Retailers such as Sears and Sports Authority pump themselves up with January sales. Given that the average price of a stationary bike is $296.32 and $586.19 for an elliptical trainer, according to the National Sporting Goods Association, we say save your breath for savings that can be as high as 70%.

2. Televisions

Wait for the New Year's euphoria to fade and you'll get your Super Bowl on the fancy telly at hundreds of dollars less in January and early February. HDTV prices will likely take the biggest dive. If you decide to go for it, here are some buying tips for getting that HDTV at the best price - Shop at least 3 major stores and compare, and, don't be afraid to ask, "What's your best price?".

3. Quit-Smoking Aids

We're not blowing smoke -- after the new year is the most cost-effective time to kick that nasty tobacco habit. WalletPop suggests signing up with smoking cessation programs directly at their websites, instead of searching for them at bargain sites. And the e-cigarette industry is always offering deals online, hoping smokers will jump on the Katherine Heigl bandwagon and puff on the steam-emitting, tobacco-free electronic cigarettes.

4. Snow Blowers

Would you expect a bargain on air conditioners in June? So why in the name of Jack Frost would you hope for low prices on a snow blower in December? The savings snowball to 30% and 40% as winter turns the corner in March. Let the intended recipient shovel the driveway for now or have it shoveled for them -- just remind them to pay after the job is done.

5. Tax Materials

Everything you need for a DIY accounting to Uncle Sam, including software such as Quicken, is often reduced by double-digit percentages in early February, according to WalletPop. On the brick-and-mortar front, Staples annually stages a Dollar Days $1 to $3 pricing on office supplies for many happy returns.

6. Cars

You can save a December-best 8.2% off the sticker price if you wait until New Year's Eve, according to Kiplinger. Dealers want those new models in by morning. You'll toast your patience with a great deal.

7. Sheets and Towels

White sales are about as quaint as Norman Rockwell paintings, but a few old school outfits like Bloomingdale's and Pottery Barn still hold them after the holidays. Just imagine the thread count soaring but not the price.

8. Tools

Saving is dandy for someone handy, so wait 'til Father's Day to buy tools, Kiplinger suggests. Discounts reach 25% -- and who wants to sand and drill at Christmas anyway?

9. Cameras

Focus on the savings that develop if you don't cave to your shutterbug's yearnings over the holidays. January and February's big electronic trade shows announce the new models, generating savings of 30% or more on the older models.

December 15, 2010

Please think of your best animal friends now.

Think of me. I'm freezing too.

"Please take me inside. I'm freezing out here."

Crazy Ernie would like to take this time to beg you to think about your puppies, cats and any other pets you put outside. This weather in the North here in Michigan is horrendously cold. And, YES, animals don't like the cold either. Look at this dogs eyes ... it really would love to be sitting beside you in your best chair where it is warm. My puppie, Mickey, is sitting right by my feet where I can pet him and his eyes tell me "thank you" for keeping me inside. I feel so sad when I see homes with the dog tied up outside for hours at a time. Very sad to see. Help your friend today.
Little bit of Humor

If dogs could only talk.


I just went out to get the mail at 4am (about 60' from the house). I am now talking in a high pitched voice. I think I froze my balls off. It's 4.4F and cold as hell.

December 14, 2010

Remember these people?
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank

How they are looking at Obama right now - LOL

Or did I?
CRAZY ERNIE SEX: You get the idea. These dumb assed Democrats, and all their other coherts, are fighting like cats and dogs within their own party. They are pissed at Obama for sucking up to the Republicans on the tax bill and are trying their damndest to figure a way to sway their leader way back to the left side of politics. And Obama, after seeing the November election results in favor of Republicans and the Tea Party, is strongly looking at the 2012 election. He knows he has to move to the center and/or somewhat to the right in able to hold his Presidential position.
These dumbocrats don't seem to realize that WE THE PEOPLE have a good memory. REMEMBER when these ignorant people were setting up the Health Bill??? They moved in a room, all by their Democratic selves, that was blocked by a huge Oak door and security people. This 2000+ page bill was supposed to be for ALL people. But, Republicans were not offered to come in to hear the discussions. Neither were reporters from Fox News or any other news organization. These assholes knew this bill was LOADED with earmarks and tons of stuff the American public was not interested in. See the cartoon above. That is what these people think of us. Why did these dumbocrats not let anyone else in on the setting up of this bill????? Simple, they were all thinking about all the Lobbyists money from drug companies and others that will be flowing into their pockets. Just think of it ... why would someone spend 10's of millions of dollars to get elected??? Can you even imagine that NONE of them have ever heard of Lobbyists with suitcases full of millions of $$$$$. Do you think ANY of the above wasn't thinking of their wallets and purses??? What a bunch of thieves we have in Washington. Think about it.


I heard that Pepsi is going to come out with a drink that has Viagra in it ... it's going to be called Mount & Do -- :=))

December 13, 2010

My son wants some friggin snow ... why don't you just move up here?

Come on Steve, let's go swimming.

Come on Steve, let's go swimming and catch some seals to eat!

Are you warm enough? Trying to catch my dinner. We need more snow for Steve.

Night Aurora display --------- Fishing for food --------- Freezin' our ass off

Crazy Ernie and I personally hate cold weather and snow. It's hard to drive in, you have to shovel your driveways, your heat bills skyrocket in the winter ... and, YOU CAN'T FUCKING GOLF IN THIS CRAPPY WEATHER. I'd rather have it 80 degrees out, sun shining, little breeze, smell of flowers in the air, birds singing and building nests and golf balls flying. Other than these Eskimos above I don't believe anyone really loves cold weather. Crazy Ernie sez: Why the fuck wasn't we born in Arizona or Southern California??? Sure would beat this crap.
LITTLE LAUGHTER HERE: Crazy was lying in bed with his girlfriend Beumadine. After having great sex Beumadine spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles, something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?" Because, she replied, "I really miss mine"


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December 12, 2010

Better be careful this year... Santa is watching you!

Better Be Careful. Santa is watching you.

You can chat naughty here - 1-888 click here
Just don't let Santa catch you 

Things that puzzle Crazy Ernie: "Why do all racecars go from left to right? Who on earth made this stupid decision? I'd love to see a NASCAR race where all the cars go from right to left."
Crazy Ernie sez: "My pet dog Mickey is a "10". I took him outside this morning for a walk. At the first tree he took a poop. At the second tree he took another poop. At the third tree he took another poop. Now, the way I look at it is: Tree and a turd + tree and a turd + tree and a turd = "10". I'm not a mathematical genius but it makes sense to me." LOL
Crazy Ernie humor: "I had the pleasure of interviewing Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and Jesse Jackson last week. I asked them if they go to NASCAR races. In unison, they screamed: "We would never go to NASCAR, we ARE NOT RACISTS." LOL

December 11, 2010

From "pretty" to "pretty fugly"

My Pretty Mug Shot

Guess which one is her mug shot? You get 2 guesses. LOL

HOLLYWOOD, USA: I get almost violently ill when I see mug shot pictures of Hollywood people when they are strung out on drugs, botox, facelifts and what ever. Makes no difference which star it is, Lindsey Lohan or Glen Campbell, they all look disgustingly sicko. Then they plead for a low bond and they beg judges to release them with little or no sentence. If they do get jail time like 90 days in jail they spend about 5-7 days in jail and then are released. How many times have we seen this. What if it was you or I? We would end up doing the FULL 90 days - period. Why does society let the courts and judges get away with this unfair system. Make them do the time just like the rest of us would. Almost everyday we see some star in the slammer only to be getting a small slap on the wrist, time after time. How many times has Lindsey (stupid) Lohan commited driving offenses, drunk driving, accidents, etc, etc.??? I'd probably be in prison for 2-3 years by now if I commited her offenses. Come on courts ... get fucking real. They are NO BETTER than the average John or Jane Doe that does the same thing. Force them into mental health ... not a 5 star hotel with their own private phsyc doctor that testifies he/she has straightened their client out in less than a week. What do you think of the SYSTEM we have now??? Think about it.

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Violence in 


Blokes in the UK showing their total ignorance!

LONDON, UK: The violence stems from the fact that College tuitions are scheduled to triple next year. I totally agree with the protesters about having to deal with an increase like that. College is not cheap to begin with, but a 3x increase is not right. But, I strongly believe that violence IS NOT the way to settle the problem. You are costing your government millions of dollars by doing this wrong action against your government. Don't you think they will use this as a further belief that they need the money. What you are doing is totally WRONG. Do your protesting at the ballot box and calmly talking with your government officials. Look at the wars all over the world. NOTHING is settled by violence. It drags it on and on with NO real winners in the end. Who will pay for all the damage you are doing to your beautiful cities??? YOU WILL ... PERIOD. Do you, for a second, think your attacks on Prince Charles car did you any good??? ABSOLUTELY NOT. In fact, if anything, it hurt your cause. Get your heads on straight, stop the violence, and do it the right way. Look at the smiles on some of these blokes faces ... like this violence is totally funny. Get them aside and tell them they are real stupid in getting their jollys off seeing a friend confront a police officer. It's not a pretty site. Think about it.


Crazy Ernie got up late this morning and was in a hurry shaving with his straight razor. The straight razor slipped out of his hand and chopped his wiener off. His wiener rolled around on the floor and then looked up at him and said, "Since I was 12 years old we have had many fistfights ... but, I never thought you'd draw a knife!"

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December 10, 2010

Barbara Walters IS a Pinhead - Bill O'Reilly, Fox News Factor

Barbara Walters is a Pinhead
I have to totally agree. A real dumbo of a question. It isn't the point of whether Oprah is, or has been, in a lesbian relationship with anyone. The point is: (1) Who cares?, (2) It's none of my business. (3) Does being a lesbian make you bad??? (4) I would love Oprah if she said: "Damn right, I love hugging and kissing women and having all out dirty sex with them. Period. Her sexuality, and anyone elses, is no ones business but their own. Crazy Ernie is not, nor has ever been gay. But, if I have been in the past I would willingly WAVE THE FLAG and tell everyone that wants to know. I would in no way flaunt it and I would in no way hide it. Being a friendly person is what counts ... NOT what they like to do in bed and with whom. Barbara Walters, in my opinion is definately Bill O'Reilly's PINHEAD OF THE YEAR on this issue. Hats off for Oprah for pointing that out to PINHEAD BARBARA WALTERS. Think about it.
You own a gas guzling Cadilac, Lincoln, Blazer, Jeep and you are bitching at the Arabs for high gas prices. They are laughing all the way to the bank as they ride off into the sunset on their high tech mode of transportation. Think about it. Half dozen ears of corn and they can carry your suitcases full of American Dollars to the bank that you just spent at the local gas station.
Gas Free Transportation


When we are born God picks our eye color, our wiener size, out boob size, our hair color - but, he makes us pick our own nose. It was 9.4F temperature this morning and Crazy Ernie went outside to pick his nose. When he came in he said, "First time I ever saw a booger cube."

December 9, 2010


1. Legalize Marijuana and TAX it. Remember Prohibition? Alcohol was illegal. So, it went underground and was readily available to any person that wanted it. Finally the idiots in Washington decided, under pressure, to legalize and TAX it. Tons of money started to come in and to this day still does. Who, but the underground, was making tons of money on alcohol during prohibition. How about smoking? About 25-30% of the public smokes and cigarettes are heavily TAXED and tons of money is coming in on that. Marijuana would be no different. Legalize it and TAX it. Just like alcohol, if you are caught drunk driving you pay fines. If you are caught driving under the influence of Marijuana - you get some heavy fines. There is money to be made here if the politicians would just get their brains working right. WHY let underground crooks make money by selling it on street corners. Think of the murders that would not happen because of crooks trying to dominate certain areas. Maybe those crooks will go get a regular job instead of terrorizing neighborhoods with gang bang shootings, etc. Think about it.
2. Legalize prostitution. It's the worlds oldest profession isn't it? Been here since caveman days. Make women prostitutes (and male prostitutes) get licensed and have monthly medical checkups for diseases. And, make them pay TAXES on their income. Why do you want illegal Pimps making tons of money on this, now illegal, unreported income. And, how about the Pimps that mistreat their hookers, beat them and cheat them out of money. Let's put prostitution into a legal profession and TAX it like any other profession. Think about it.
3. Put at least a 300% TAX on Rap and Hip Hop recordings. Notice I did not say MUSIC as it absolutely does not represent music in any way. The lyrics are sickening our youth in a heavy way. Kill cops, misuse ho's, do drugs and on and on. Absolute total insanity, and these so-called artists are making millions of dollars putting out this trash to brainwash our kids. TAX it heavily and maybe it will go away and save our kids ... if not, bring this TAX money in to help pay our national debt. Think about it.
4. Put a $500 fine on people that turn their auto and/or home boom boxes on where you can hear the drums and bass a city block away. I personally don't want to be forced to hear that trash pounding my ears. $1000 on second offense. Give us ordinary citizens ears a rest from this junk pounding crap ... we DON'T want to share this garbage with you. Think about it.
5. Have every county and parish build a gun storage unit and make ALL citizens (Police exempt) pay a fee to store your weapons 24/7/365. Your weapons will be under supervised lock and key at all times. If you want to go hunting you go check your gun out for the hunting period and return it within 24 hours after your hunting is over. Otherwise, ABSOLUTELY NO GUNS in private hands unless legally owned and checked in and out of the supervised unit. IF you are caught with a gun not in the legal system you go to jail - no bond - minimum 20 years automatic jail time. LIFE for the second offense. PERIOD. Just think of the murders and killings and robberies this would eliminate. Look at your daily news and just see how many gun crimes are being committed even as I type this. NO GUNS IN CITIZENS HANDS UNLESS LEGALLY OWNED AND LEGALLY CHECKED OUT OF THE SUPERVISED UNIT. PERIOD. The thieves and crooks would be speechless on this kind of law. Violent crime would definately go down. And, there would be money coming in from the storage unit where the guns are legally held for you. Think about it.

Wednesday, December 15th News Update


How many happened in towns across the country not reported here???
Think about it.

Innocent Mother Killed, 5 Hurt in Gun Battle at California Mall.

Police: Man Fires at Florida School Board; Kills Self with gun.

NY Police: 'We Could Have a Serial Killer' - 4 bodies found so far.

Casino Armed Bandit Grabs $1.5 Million at Bellagio in Vegas .

Illinois Mayor Tim Davlin Found Dead in His Home - shot himself.

December 8, 2010

Want to see a faaaaaarrrrrrr left MSNBC interview with RACIST Al Sharpton.
We can all PUKE over this dingbat racist.

Guess who? A pair of racists.

Crazy Ernies punchline would be: "I told them we do not go to NASCAR races because WE ARE NOT RACISTS."

Racist Al Sharpton Video Here

When are these dingbats at MSNBC going to get the picture that their ratings are going to keep falling into HELL when they feature such shit at this on the airwaves. In my opinion MSNBC should be banned from broadcasting. See below about Sicko Rachael Maddow .. another left wing NUT CASE.

December 7, 2010
Say a prayer on this day for all our WWII soldiers that lost their lives during the Pearl Harbor attact. 1000's of brave men and women, protecting us, went to heaven that day during this terrible bombing in Pearl Harbor. There is no way to bring them back but we sure can all say a nice prayer for them today.
Now for some humor: During the 40's and 50's we had a ventriloquist named Edgar Bergen with his dummies Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd to entertain us. Today we have Jeff Dunham with multiple hillarious dummies to entertain us. One of my favorites is Achmed the Terrorist. Think you'll like this one: It is fucking funny!


December 6, 2010

Rachael Maddow, dingbat MSNBC anchor.

Weird Rachael Maddow
New York, NY: Was bored and scanning channels the other night and happened to stop on MSNBC at the beginning of the Rachael Maddow newscast. The first 15 minutes of her show was filled with nothing but horrendous Republican and HATE Fox News puke spewing from her mouth. I know some people lean to the left in politics but her show was so far left it was almost unbelievable. How a human, if she's that, can have such hatred is beyond my belief. First, I think she is a dyke trying to hide as a woman. I have nothing against Lesbians, but please, if you are gay don't try to hide it in any way. You are what you are. You are not fooling anyone except yourself. I have many gay and lesbian friends and absolutely think the world of them. One Tennessee woman that I correspond with on the internet is a lesbian ... and, she and her lifetime partner Elise are absolutely beautiful people that I would do anything for. Rachael, besides her hiding her gender preferences, is one of the most brain dead newscasters I have ever witnessed. And, I have been involved with broadcasting for over 40 years. I've personally met Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather and many more. Dan was an alcoholic, but did not try to hide it from anyone. He was an excellent man behind the mike when doing the CBS Evening News on TV. He did his newscast from our local studio one night and was really bombed ... but, other than his normal whistleing when pronouncing an 's' he did the newscast extremely professional. And, he did not slam ABC or NBC, the other 2 major newscasts on at the same time period. Rachael is a disgrace, and outright fraud, trying to act like a fair and balanced newscaster. It is no wonder why Fox News is so far ahead in the ratings of being fair in news reporting. You, Rachael Maddow, are a total loser in spending almost HALF of your program blasting Republicans and Fox News. Hear me ... A TOTAL LOSER. Furthermore, I am an independent, and give BOTH sides a fair objective ear. Please, Rachael, get a life.


Crazy Ernie built a kite out of balsa wood and newspapers but he didn't put a tail on the kite. He was outside trying to fly it and it kept crashing into the trees and ground. His girlfriend Beumadine shouted out the window, "What you need is a little piece of tail." Crazy Ernie said, "That's what I asked for this morning and you told me to go fly a kite."

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December 5, 2010

RIP Beetles John Lennon - Its been 30 years - December 8, 1980

John Lennon, Left us on 12-8-1980

We want to 'Hold Your Hand' once again

New York, NY: On the evening of Monday, December 8, 1980, 40-year-old John Lennon was shot four times in the back (the fifth shot missed) in the entrance hallway of the Dakota, with hollow-point bullets from a Charter Arms .38 revolver, by Mark David Chapman. Lennon had autographed a copy of Double Fantasy for Chapman earlier that same night.
Two shots struck Lennon in the left side of his back and two more in his left shoulder. All four wounds caused serious internal damage, and at least one of them pierced Lennon's aorta. Lennon staggered up the four steps to the security/reception area and said "I'm shot" and collapsed. Concierge John Hastings at first thought it was a joke, but then summoned the police by hitting the silent alarm button.
Lennon was pronounced dead on arrival in the Emergency Room at the Roosevelt Hospital at 11:15 p.m. The cause of death was reported as hypovolemic shock, after losing more than 80% of blood volume. On the following day, December 9, 1980, Lennon's wife Yoko Ono issued a statement: "There is no funeral for John. John loved and prayed for the human race. Please do the same for him. Love, Yoko and Sean." Instead of a funeral, ten minutes of silence was observed worldwide the following Sunday, December 14, at 2 p.m. ET.
Chapman later pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to 20 years to life. He is still in prison, 27 years since his arrest, having been denied parole five times. (He became known to the surviving Beatles and their friends as "He whose name shall not be mentioned.")
Two days after his death, Lennon's body was cremated at Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York. The ashes have been said to be sprinkled around Strawberry Fields, as well as in personal possession by Yoko Ono. Yoko Ono kept his bloodstained glasses after he died.

December 4, 2010


CRAZY ERNIES HISTORICAL FACTS: When Barney Frank was born his parents visited him in the nursery and were amazed that he was the only baby in the nursery that wasn't crying. Nurse said, "Oh, he'll start crying like the rest the minute we pull the pacifier out of his butt." LOL
CRAZY ERNIES NEWS FLASH: Democrats announced today that they are changing their mascot from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party’s political stance. A condom "stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others."

December 3, 2010

10 year old Zahra Baker

Very pretty with freckles and a dynamite smile.

Beautiful Zahra Baker
According to reports on many news stations this beautiful child was raped by 2 men and then someone hit her in the head and killed her. Her parents, and maybe others, dismembered pretty Zahra and put her body parts in plastic bags and threw her away like she was trash. In life Zahra suffered Cancer and lost her left leg and had a prosthetic leg in place. She also suffered from hearing problems. So many hardships in her early life and then some SCUMBAGS along with her parents did something like this to this beautiful child. What the hell is wrong with people today??? It takes extremely sick sick sick people to do something like this to an innocent 10 year old. Her smile as seen in many news pictures is so captivating. I would personally give all the money I have to just have her back, hold and hug her, and give her the love that these dogs of so called humans denied her. What a precious child we lost here.
NOTE: If you EVER notice a child being treated badly (bruise marks, etc) please please contact the Police. DO NOT WAIT. Maybe the child gives you hints of some bad things happening to them. CALL THE POLICE - IMMEDIATELY. You may save another Zahra from this type of hideous murder. PLEASE HELP. These SCUMBAGS need to spend eternity in Hell. Dig a 15' hole, fill it with fire ants, and put them all in it to squirm and yell for help. Then, just sit there and laugh at them reminding them of Zahra's pain and suffering. Zahra is certainly in Heaven right now ... and, probably still loves her mommy and daddy ... what a thought.

December 2, 2010
HUMOR: Last year I went to Washington DC on vacation. Wanting to meet some politicians around noon I went to the local bar (near the house bldg) for a drink. Place was packed and only 2 seats available. Both of the seats were on both sides of a woman sitting at the bar. So, I took one of them and very soon realized I was sitting next to Nancy Pelosi. As we were sitting there all of a sudden I smelled what was a horrendous fart. Not knowing if it came from the gentleman to my left or from Nancy Pelosi. I quickly changed seats to the other side of Nancy. The smell was just as bad if not worse there. I said to Nancy, "Did you shit your pants?" She said, "As a matter of fact, Yes I did." I asked her if she was going to go to the bathroom and wipe. She said, "Yes, as soon as I'm done." :=) Another brilliant decision by this Dumbocrat.

Here is Obama and Nancy Pelosi's Love Child



 Another one of our precious Dumbocrats helping
people of the U. S. out with great ideas. LOL

Barney Frank in drag.

You got it. That's our precious Barney Frank
dressed up in drag helping us out.
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Crazy Ernie is really sad today cause his best friend recently died. Seems his friend had some strange disease that caused his testicles to start swelling up. When he died he weighed 400 pounds and his testicles weighed 100 pounds each. Crazy Ernie said, "I will really miss him ... even though he was half nuts."

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December 1, 2010
And now we have a young 18-19 year old jihadist in Oregon that was going to blow up a truck full of explosives at a town Christmas Tree lighting celebration. Where the hell do these nut cases come from??? He wanted to MURDER 100's of innocent people and their children in the name of what??? Did the Koran tell him to do it??? I'm not a religious person for the main reason that most ALL wars in history were over religion. Remember the Crusades??? All the Arab wars have been caused by friction between rival nuts mis-interpreting their own religion. Extremeists galore. When I was raised I was told everyone not a Lutheran was going straight to hell. So, I was supposed to hate Catholics, Methodists, et al. I lost my high school sweetheart because I was not going to make her quit her Methodist Church and join our Lutheran Church so I could marry her. And, that's on a local level. Now, take millions of Muslims and split them into dozens of extreme fanatic groups and they act like the Hezbollah, ElQuida, Irans Presinut, and others trying their jihad shit on all who are not Muslims. Then you have other dingbats like Kim Jung Il (should be spelled ill) of N. Korea. What a Dilbert looking wacko we have there. And, it looks like his son is going to be a mini-wacko to follow his dads nutty ideas. Why can't people get along and not plan on hurting others. I personally don't care if you are black, white, indian, arab, Catholic, Baptist or whatever. If you treat me nice I'll treat you nice. Simple as that. Where oh where are the sane people in the beautiful world of ours??????? I'm looking. If you are a nutcase and/or radical extremist please don't call me. I say, "Let's nail his nuts to a stump and then push him over backwards." :-) UPDATE: Now some idiots are blaming the FBI for brainwashing the kid to do it. Little absurd if you ask me.

Some Humor: I dreamed I died and went to heaven. St. Peter looked over my record on Earth and led me to a room. In the room was a 12' silk bed with beautiful pillows. St. Peter said, "This is where you will spend eternity." Only bad thing about it was that in the middle of the bed lay Nancy Pelosi naked. I told St. Peter, "This is the worst nightmare I could ever imagine, spending eternity with naked Nancy Pelosi". St. Peter said that this was the penance I had to pay for the sins I commited on earth. I then peeked out in the hallway and saw my best friend John coming in. St. Peter led him to a room accross the hallway. Same kind of bed, same eternity rules applied. Laying in the middle of his bed was Lindsey Lohan totally naked. I told St. Peter, "Now, I know I commited some sins down on Earth and have to pay penance with dumpy Nancy Pelosi ... but, my friend John was no angel down on Earth. He commited many sins also." St. Peter said, "You must understand ... Lindsey Lohan has to pay penance too." :-)

Obama makes another of his smart deals.

Barack Obama cartoon.

Pretty Fart Smellow there for our Presidunce.

November 30, 2010

Julian Assange - TRAITOR

Traitor Julian Assange



Happy Day ... Assange arrested in the UK on December 7, 2010 ... sit in jail asshole.

Dammit, out of reach.

Bill O'Reilly and I both agree ... he's a sleazebag.

How much do you want to bet this WikeLeaks braindead person is funded in some indirect way by George Soros. This is the type of shit that makes George grin from ear to ear. Ruin America, put soldiers and CIA people at risk just for your own personal satisfaction. I hope your next rectal prostate exam is done with a baseball bat you screwy weirdo. Did these revelations help America??? Or, is your intent to destroy America. Our society helped you make billions of dollars here in America and you give this back to us. You should be stripped of ALL your money and kicked out in the streets to live under a bridge somewhere. Think the homeless would give you a listening pad??? NEVER. Since your brain is so warped call 1-800-287-3926 and tell them what your fetish is. You, Pelosi, Reid, Barney and others will all end up in HELL and while you are suffering in the flaming fires you can convice each other on how you did it right. Yeah. And don't worry, Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck won't be there with you. They will be smiling in heaven. I am 73 and won't live forever - but, when I die it will be a glorious world without you and your slimeball friends and organizations. Another Yeah. UPDATE: On Dec. 1st a worldwide arrest warrant was issued for this absolute rectum.


Some Humor: Crazy Ernie was going to adopt a 6 week old Vietnamese girl. But, he finally decided against it. I asked him why he decided not to. He said, "Well the way I see it, when she grows up and starts talking, I won't be able to understand her." :=)

November 29, 2010
So now, here is a loser, John Skelton, in Morenci, Michigan that says he tried to hang himself - and, his 3 beautiful sons (Andrew, Alexander and Tanner) are missing. Lied and said he gave them to a lady friend he met on the internet. Bullshit. Get off your ass and tell the authorities where these gorgeous boys are. My guess is that you killed them and then wanted a way out instead of a lifetime in Prison. But, it didn't work out did it you fucking loser. And now, unless found alive, your sons will never have a chance on growing up and being a contribution to society. You, John Skelton, are a fucking loser to the nth degree taking it out on helpless children. The truth will come out and you will rot in hell with all the other losers that can't face lifes problems. We all have problems --- but, you make children pay the price for your shortcomings. Get real, loser. You are wasting our precious oxygen by breathing. UPDATE: The idiot now says he abandoned the 3 children. Don't know if he told the cops where. UPDATE: FBI arrested him in Ohio for kidnapping and he is going to be extradited back to Michigan. I sure feel sorry for those children.

Please say a prayer for them right now!

Andrew, Alexander and Tanner

Andrew, Alexander and Tanner


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