Funny Crazy Ernie News and Humor plus
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for January 2011

Our daily comedy news comments:

Some very serious and some naughty XXX nice comedy!

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CRAZY ERNIE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012

Crazy Ernie for President 2012

"I promise I WILL NOT STEAL as much as those before me."

"I promise I WILL NOT LIE as much as those before me."

"I promise I WILL NOT CHEAT as much with other women as those before me"

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January 29, 2011 UPDATE

Crazy Ernies Opinion and thoughts on dirty
Washington/Chicago politics.
It's all about MONEY
"It's all about the fucking money pits, Mr. President."

Ok ... think about this for a while. Obama stumped all over and with smooth talking got elected President of the United States. When in office he started to bring his Chicago cronies into Washington (the money pit). Rahm Emanuel was one of them. First 2 years in office he was using Pelosi, Reid and others (with Emanuel) to the max to get some stupid unpopular things done. Rahm Emanuel helped in the background with all this crap. After 2 years in office Obama's political future as a President are looking a little slim for another term in Washingtons money pit. YOU UP WITH ME? Now, guess what, with Washingtons future looking a little bleak for Obama/Emanuel in 2012 is it anyones surprise that Emanuel backed out of Washington and is running for the Mayor of Chicago, their old time stomping grounds ... the corrupt Chicago money pit. YOU STILL UP WITH ME? Picture this scenario ... Emanuel gets in charge of Chicago. Obama fails to get re-elected. Hmmmm, GUESS who in Chicago will help move Obama right back into the corrupt Chicago political enviroment and money pit. YOU GET THE PICTURE? They try their best to MILK Washingtons money pit ... and then ... when they see a possible loss of power there ... Emanuel runs to Chicago to set up base for the next best corrupt place to be in charge of TONS of money. Instead of Obama/Emanuel in the Washington money pit ... It will be Emanuel/Obama in the Chicago money pit. "Buddy, you rubbed my back so now I'll rub your back ... and, let the good money times and corruption roll." Wheeeeeeee.

Print this out, hang it on your wall, and see what happens 2 years from now. BET I'M RIGHT. If Obama gets re-elected to a 2nd term they still have a super sweet arrangement. Obama in Washingtons money pit and Emanuel possibly still in Chicagos money pit. IF I'M WRONG ... I WILL ADMIT IT IN 2012. And NO, I AM NOT A RIGHT WING REPUBLICAN FANATIC NOR A TEA BAGGER. I am in the middle of the road on politics and try to think and vote about what is right for the MAJORITY of us peons that will help all our lives. Sorry for long rant. It all just looks so obvious to me.

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January 25, 2011 UPDATE

SICK NEWS ALMOST EVERY DAY

Guns were involved 



here.

Crazy Ernie, Leroy, Beumadine, Screwy Louie and Insane Jenny are all from the same nuthouse but they all agree here. Just look at the daily news. Every day there is guns involved in shooting in stores all over, and, even in the Police station in Detroit. WAKE UP AMERICA, FUCKING GUNS ARE BAD. Yes, we all understand the constitution ... but, our forefathers never in their wildest dreams foresaw what is happening today. We, from the insane asylum, wished every fucking gun, rocket, bomb, tank, submarine, etc was all dumped in a boiling pot. Oh ya, the hunters are fuming at the mouth at these statements. Well, idiots, did you know you can catch animals to eat without guns???? Does the gun exploding give you an erection???? Is it the only way you can show you are a MACHO MAN???? Stand in front of a mirror with your .44 magnum in your pants belt and grin at yourself. We hope it goes off and blows your dick right off. That would not only make US grin, it would make us burst out in hillarious laughter. But, we are human enough, to feel sorry for you if it happens. YES, Crazy Ernie, Leroy, Beumadine, Screwy Louie and Insane Jenny are with millions of other people. LET'S STOP THE INSANITY GOING ON ... PLEASE. Here's their stupid argument. They always say, "Guns don't kill. People kill." They always leave out 2 words. They never correct their statement. It should read:

"Guns don't kill. People WITH guns kill"

Now, some HUMOR by Crazy Ernie

Ernies teeth on Ebay. LOL
Crazy Ernie got a new set of false teeth last week so he decided to put his old, but nice, set of teeth up for bid on Ebay. So far ... no one is biting on them. LOL
Crazy Ernie filed for a patent for his newly designed snow removal device. Please look for them at Walmart, Costco, K-Mart and all handicap retail stores. Ernie sez: "If they don't have them in stock you have the options talked about above. Get a fucking gun and shoot the place up until they get some." Duhhhhh!!! That will certainly show them dumb fuckers. Isn't that how some of these gun toting idiots think??? NOTE: What an insane thought, but, it brings up the mentality of peoples thoughts when they act out for stupid reasons. INSANE IN OUR HONEST OPINION ... AIN'T IT???

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January 22, 2011 UPDATE

CRAZY ERNIE GOES GROCERY SHOPPING

Fugly shopper

Glad she didn't follow me out of the store ... WHEW!!!

Walking all over the grocery store and my dick is occasionally getting hard, then soft, then hard. My suspicion is that Leroy is somewhere getting his cock played with ... or maybe starting to masturbate. LOL Got in line to check out and there is this 400+ pound super fugly female in front of me (picture above). Hope I didn't hurt my camera. Was surprised my 8gb camera had enough space to hold her picture. I'm trying to ignore her as I don't want to get sick but she keeps trying to chat with me. And, then it happened (damn you Leroy), I had a huge boner that she saw. She asked me if I wanted to come over to her place for a drink while looking at my boner. And, right then, POW, I had another fucking moaning and groaning Orgasm. This fugly woman now thinks that she is fucking hot and backs right up to my boner and wiggles 4 tons of flesh against me. Only thing I could do is ... PUKE all over her back and run full speed out of the store hoping she couldn't catch me. Whew that was fucking close ... DAMN YOU LEROY.

 CRAZY ERNIE humor: I really feel super tired today. Why??? Went to the bar last night and was making out with this pretty redhead. Bought her 5-11 drinks and finally got enough nerve to ask her to go for a drive. We drove about 37 miles out in the desolate country back roads and finally pulled over to the side of this lonely road. Started hugging and kissing and boobie rubbing and I finally got up enough nerve to say, "It's either give me a blowjob ... or walk." Well, reason I'm tired is ... I HAD TO WALK ... IT WAS HER CAR."
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

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January 21, 2011 UPDATE

Now, it's getting interesting for Crazy Ernie and Leroy

Crazy Ernie and Leroy now have their independence since the Doctor seperated them with a meat cleaver. Leroy ended up with a dick that has 2 heads. His black dick head and Ernies white dickhead. Since they've been seperated they have both been wild with sexual activity. Especially Leroy as the ladies sure like his double headed cock. One HUGE problem is now occuring with this situation. You ready for this??? Every time Leroy has sex and has a climax Crazy Ernie also has an orgasm because Leroy has Ernies white dick head leading the pack. Leroy has turned into a male nymphomaniac and is constantly having sex with someone. SAMPLE FUNNY HAPPENING: Crazy Ernie had to go to the Dentist and the lady Dental Assistant was cleaning his teeth ... and, at the same time Leroy started fucking a gorgeous blonde. As the Dental Assistant was poking around in his mouth Ernie started to moan real bad and had an Orgasm right there in the dental chair. Talk about a surprised Dental Assistant. A patient having an Orgasm getting their teeth cleaned. It was fun for Ernie ... but, he was a little embarassed. LOL

LOL LOL MORE ORGASMIC ESCAPADES COMING LOL LOL

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January 19, 2011

Walmart is a heavy Chinese product marketer

Walmart

Crazy Ernie sez: "Let's help put a STOP to this insanity NOW."

CRAZY ERNIES pet peave: We are now over 14 trillion dollars in international debt. That's $14,000,000,000,000.00. Do you realize that is $48,000 PER MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD in the United States? When is this going to be paid ... and, BY WHOM???? Contact your Congressman about this. Next time you go into Walmart just look at where the products are manufactured. Almost all say MADE IN CHINA. Wake up and BUY AMERICAN products.

Here is what to suggest to your Congressman. To start reducing our National debt let's put a 10-20% tariff (tax) on ALL imported goods from China. This will do 2 things for all Americans. 1. It will start reducing out National Dept. And, most important, 2. It will put MILLIONS of Americans back to work because we will now be able to compete with the slave labor entities in China.

Also, please mention this to your local Walmart, K-Mart, Costco, Sam's Club and others. It isn't only Walmart ... it's all of them. TELL THEM ADAMANTLY that you want to put Americans back to work and want to lower our National debt. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT YOU THINK ... BUY AMERICAN NOW.

Please, BUY AMERICAN for us

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January 15, 2011

 Crazy Ernies Pet Peave - the word "NEXT"
what does it mean???

Shepard Smith, Fox News

Shepard Smith of Fox News

CRAZY ERNIES pet peave is: This is a picture of Shepard Smith of Fox News. I like him and this in no way is meant to center ONLY on him. ALL cable newscasters do it and it drives me fucking crazier. SAMPLE: They finish a story and then say something like this: "Osama bin Laden HAS been captured ... and that is NEXT." WOW, that's something I WANT TO HEAR. Now, in the dictionary the word 'NEXT' means 'immediately following'. But, what happens then. You sit through 3 minutes of commercials that you've seen 8000 times and when the newscaster gets back, you got it, they give 3-4 totally unrelated stories other than something about Osama bin Laden. Then, they go into another 1-2 minute commercial break and you hear 2 more unrelated stories ... and then, and only then, a half hour later you hear the story about Osama bin Laden. It's obvious these programing fuckers just duped you into watching 5-6 minutes of paid commercials before giving you the HIGH INTEREST STORY. Doesn't this just piss you and the Pope off. Many times I have clicked the remote just like you and changed channels. I don't like to be used in this fashion. PLEASE NEWSCASTERS, the fucking word NEXT means 'IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING'. It does not mean dupe your viewers. Ask yourself: "Would you like to be in line at McDonalds waiting to place your order and when the person in front of you is done and gone, the clerk standing right in front of you asks the person BEHIND you for their order???? Wasn't you NEXT????" THINK ABOUT IT ... AND STOP THAT SHIT ... RIGHT NOW!

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January 14, 2011

Here's Crazy Ernies Dad in the waiting room the day of the surgery

Crazy Ernies Dad

If you look closely I think Crazy Ernie takes after his Dad

You all know by now that Crazy Ernie and Leroy were siamese twins and joined at the cock. Their mothers worked hard to save money, and as promised, were going to pay to have them seperated upon school graduation. Well, the time has come. They saved all they could and had a total of $229.99 saved up. Not much, so they had to really shop hard for a cheap surgeon. They finally found Dr. Weinerstein that started in micro-surgery and graduated to magna-surgery. Only thing that the Dr. wasn't good at was math and he had severe eyesight problems. Instead of using a fine scalpel he decided to use a butchers chopping knife. And then, WHACK. The Dr. then said what no one wants to hear in an operating room. "Oooooooops". Crazy Ernie and Leroys dick looked like this after the chop:

Ernie=========----00=========Leroy

Even though Crazy Ernie had a monstrous whopper, Leroy ended up with both dick heads. Leroys cock looked like a chocolate ice cream cone with a dip of vanilla ice cream on top of it. Can you picture that??? LOL That's one of the setbacks of finding a cheap discount Doctor. I wonder if that's where the rumor got started that blacks have larger dicks that whites??? We will be posting some very funny side effects of this operation in coming days. You will love them.

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January 13, 2011

Steven Colbert was asked what he thought about Crazy Ernie

Steven Colbert

NOW, MORE ABOUT CRAZY ERNIE AND LEROY

You will love tomorrows post about Crazy Ernie and Leroy. Their mothers both promised them when they were young that they would work hard and save up money to have them seperated as a school Graduation gift. You will hear about the seperation and the hillarious things that happened afterward. Don't miss it. Even Steve Colbert, laughing above, thought is was absolutely some crazy shit. Bookmark this site now and come back for more humor and XXX news. See ya.

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January 12, 2011

This is just TWO of the reasons I love golf

WOW! IT'S NATALIE

 Not only a good golfer but both Crazy Ernie and Leroy would love to play games with her. From any angle this is nothing but beautiful sightings on the golf course. We're thinking about a HOLE-IN-ONE right now. Just sitting down to chat with her would be total eroticism. And then maybe /*\ and \!/ would happen. I think you can figure that sign language out. LOL

CRAZY ERNIE sez: When Leroy and I were young we used to do cartwheels in the opposite direction until our dick looked like a piece of twisted taffy. LOL
FUNNY SEX times: We used to date 2 girls and in the movie theatre would have them sit between us with our weiner across their laps. It would make us both super horney when they took turns bending over and licking on our dick heads. Super boner time then. Loved it. ERNIE=======OO=======LEROY

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January 11, 2011

I asked Leroy, my black twin, what he thought about our life
connected by the weiner. This was his reaction ...

Leroy Dump kickin' back

In the 8th grade Leroy had a crush on our teacher Ms. Suchit. He would get a boner going and it would push our chairs apart in back of the room. He said, "If she can't suck it at least she should come back here, pet it, and swing on it." I'd have to agree with him on that. LOL

 
CRAZY ERNIE sez: I went to the grocery store the other day and the Cashier asked me if I wanted 'paper or plastic' for my groceries. I told her, "It doesn't matter .. I'm bisacksual."
CRAZY ERNIE humor: Leroy was driving down the I-75 Xpressway when his cell phone rang. It was Ernie. Ernie told Leroy to be very careful 'cause it said on the news that there was a car driving down the expressway going the wrong way. Leroy said, "One?? Hell, there's 100's of em going the wrong way."

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January 10, 2011

Sorry I missed updating today

I was totally involved in watching the news about what this sick fucker did

Jared 'el sicko' Loughner

CRAZY ERNIE sez: I just cannot, in any reasonable fashion, see how a person can do such a terrible thing and then (as the picture shows) grin in the camera like it was something neat and something he is proud of doing. Personally I am against death sentences and 'so called' legal executions ... but, in this case I say, "Get the needles ready and rid the earth of this scum." I also feel sorry for his parents and relatives. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if one of my sons did something like this. It must be horrible in their house right now.

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January 9, 2011

What a senseless tragedy in Arizona yesterday

Gun Violence

Is this what pro-gun people want to happen again?

After several gun crimes and killings here in Saginaw, Michigan I posted 1 month ago this suggested solution. AND, I sincerely believe something like this should be put into effect. Screw the 'I need a gun for protection' people. Guns were designed for one purpose only ... TO KILL. Read this older post and give it a serious thought. You can still hunt, target shoot, etc. ... but guns would be less accessable ... and, people using them for a crime would pay heavily. Here's the post:

Have every county and parish build a gun storage unit and make ALL citizens (Police exempt) pay a fee to store your weapons 24/7/365. Your weapons will be under supervised lock and key at all times. If you want to go hunting you go check your gun out for the hunting period and return it within 24 hours after your hunting is over. Otherwise, ABSOLUTELY NO GUNS in private hands unless legally owned and checked in and out of the supervised unit. IF you are caught with a gun not in the legal system you go to jail - no bond - minimum 20 years automatic jail time. LIFE for the second offense. PERIOD. Just think of the murders and killings and robberies this would eliminate. Look at your daily news and just see how many gun crimes are being committed even as I type this. NO GUNS IN CITIZENS HANDS UNLESS LEGALLY OWNED AND LEGALLY CHECKED OUT OF THE SUPERVISED UNIT. PERIOD. The thieves and crooks would be speechless on this kind of law. Violent crime would definately go down. And, there would be money coming in from the storage unit where the guns are legally held for you. Think about it.

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January 8, 2011

Massive dead Starlings, dead Fish, dead Pigeons, polar shift

Crazy Ernie wonders:

After watching the video doesn't it make you wonder about December 21, 2012??? How much of this stuff that you see in this video is happening RIGHT NOW??? Wars, killings, building nukes, radical people, murders, religious fanatics wanting YOU to change, etc. And now we see, dead birds in masses, millions of dead fish, dead pidgeons and who knows whats next. Could it be humans??? We saw yesterday the shutting down of airstrips at airports in Tampa because of the magnetic polar shift of true north. Every year the North Pole is shifting 4' closer to Russia. Crazy Ernie wonders, "What the hell is going on?"

NOW, YOU KNOW ERNIE IS CRAZY DON'T YOU?

CRAZY ERNIES insane asylum thoughts: If the polar poles shift will everything be backwards??? Will cars be driving down the roads backwards to get you where you've been? Will you have to turn left to go right? Just think about going to take a dump. (LOL) Will you be taking food back to the stores and be handed money??? Will the stores send the beef and pork back to the slaughter house where they reconstruct cows and pigs. If a stupid ass like Kim Jung Ill lights of a nuke rocket it will come back to him and blow his ass up??? Will Elvis be truley seen in Kalamazoo at a Burger King? Will we as humans show up on earth at around 85 years old and regress to 0 years old??? Will that high school girl that rejected your amourous advances show up totally naked at your back door??? Will Nancy Pelosi turn beautiful and conservative??? Will Barack Obama start to make sense??? Tornados will travel from East to West and leave in their wake trailer house parks. NOW, what funny things can you imagine if everything was BACKWARDS???

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January 7, 2011

Robert Gibbs - Obama's spokesperson - or was

Robert Gibbs

About 4 months ago I predicted on another board that Robert would probably be out by the mid-term elections. Reason was simple for me to guess at that. When he gave his daily briefings I was seeing something. He was getting some tough questions here and there and I was seeing that he was giving answers that he thought Obama would say. BUT, I could really see in his face that most of the time he was not convinced what he was saying was the truth. He knew, by his facial looks, that what he was answering was total bullshit. He may be a nice guy but he was in a tough spot. Just did not convince me with his answers.

 Finally, the WITCH OF DC is fading off

Pretty Nancy

No question that this beast caused the American people TONS of problems. Her farewell speech was disgusting and continuous lies from top to bottom. I could see her successor continuously tapping his right fingers on the chair arm when she was speaking. Was he secretly saying, "Shut the fuck up and let's get it over with." Now, let's get down to some serious modifications of what the screwy Dumbocrats pushed down our throats. Yeah. I personally think Nancy Pelosi should retire and go back to California. I am certain she could get at job at DizzyLand as a grinning clowns ass somewhere. LOL

LOL MORE ABOUT CRAZY ERNIES YOUTH LOL

MORE BIZARRE times: It was in the 7th grade when Crazy Ernie and Leroy were out playing tag with the other kids and running around in fast circles. Then, it happened. All of a sudden Crazy Ernies and Leroys dick got tied in 2 knots. They couldn't get them untied. Even their teacher, Ms. Notaway, couldn't do it so off to the Hospital they went. It took Doctors in the Emergency Room over 4 hours helping Ernie and Leroy get their knots off. (NOW, THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY)

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January 6, 2011

Glenn Beck has it right on Fox News

Glenn Beck, Fox News

Here is a man that tells it like it is. The left wingers, like brain dead George Soros, hate his guts. WHY? It's simple. Glenn exposes the near criminal things that these far left wing NUTS are trying to turn the American life in to. They want Socialism in the worst way. Just look up Georgie on Google and you will see the ideas that this sicko wants for YOU. And he is spending billions of his dollars to get you there. Just listen to Glenn on Fox News at 5pm eastern time and you will get the point.

LOL MORE ABOUT CRAZY ERNIES YOUTH LOL

CRAZY ERNIE sez: "During Halloween we would find a heavily traveled sidewalk and hide up in a tree over the sidewalk. When kids got near, one of us would bungee jump down in front of them, scaring them, and then weiner bounce right back up in the tree. It was hillarious to see. Me and Leroy taking turns bungee jumping. LOL " With the help of a friend we also had the biggest sling shot in town. Yeah!!!

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January 5, 2011

LOL Didn't hit the LOTTO ... so, onward with the blog. LOL

Below is a picture of a useless piece of shit.
BRETT FAVRE

Fucking Dork

What a total piece of human shit this person is. He was blessed with a talent, made TONS of money from people like you and I, and look what he has done with his life. Crooked dealings, rapes and who knows what else. Just think about it ... kids looked up to this hunk of elephant puke. I just wished there was a way to remove all his wealth and put him in a cardboard box in a street alley. Only problem with that is that it would insult the homeless people that never had what he has.

 

LOL NOW, MORE ABOUT CRAZY ERNIES YOUTH LOL

CRAZY ERNIE facts: Crazy Ernie and Leroy's Moms, before the kids were born, were used by the local Police Departments for crowd control. Think about it, they could stand across the street from each other and block off traffic with their huge connected weiner. :-) They used to laugh when out for a drive. They would hang the connected weiner over the rear view mirror with the black and white dick heads bouncing around when they hit bumps in the road. Now, picture that in your mind.

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January 4, 2011

Tonights Michigan Mega Millions Lotto Jackpot is $355 Million Dollars

Please, draw my number.

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Crazy Ernies life story begins on January 3, 2011

LOL NOW, MORE ABOUT CRAZY ERNIES YOUTH LOL

CRAZY ERNIE facts: Crazy Ernie and Leroy, joined at the penis, were 2 of the most popular kids in grade school. They were invited to everyones Birthday parties because their weiner was great for the kids to play jump weiner (rope) with. Can you picture that in your mind??? Another interesting thing about the twins was that Crazy Ernie was white and born to a black mother. He had short black tightly curled hair, a wide flat nose and HUGE lips. Leroy, on the other hand, being black and born to a white mother, had long straight red hair, a pointed nose, buck teeth and thin lips. Crazy Ernie could dance well and Leroy was a stumblebum. In school one day the teacher wrote a problem on the blackboard. She said, "First one up here with the right answer gets an extra hour of outdoor playtime." Crazy Ernie and Leroy were sitting in the back and Leroy jumped up and made it to the blackboard in 3 seconds flat. In less than 2 seconds Crazy Ernie came flying through the air and smashed into the blackboard like a slingshot. Splat!!! While Crazy Ernie was nursing a bloody nose Leroy jumped out the window to play for an hour. NOT funny was the window slamming down on their weiner making them both scream a little bit. LOL. Will have more insane facts tomorrow. Tune us in please.

January 3, 2011

CRAZY ERNIES HYSTERICAL YOUTH FACTS

LOL

(additions will be posted over the next few days)

Crazy Ernie was born in 1936. He was a healthy boy ... but, with several exceptions. He was born a Siamese Twin and has a brother named Leroy. We all know that most Siamese Twins are joined at the body and/or head. Well, Crazy Ernie and Leroy were different. They were joined at their DICK. And another different thing was is that Crazy Ernie is white and Leroy is black. And, the strangest fact was that they had the same father - but, different mothers. Crazy Ernie had a black mother and Leroy had a white mother. Picture that in your mind. Also think about it, these 2 mothers were joined together by a big dick that hooked Crazy Ernie and Leroy together. When the mothers went grocery shopping they hung their heavy purses on the dick that joined them causing it to stretch pretty long. Plus, the mothers slept in bunk beds. (You getting the picture?) More coming!

 

LOL CRAZY ERNIE FUNNIES LOL

CRAZY ERNIE sent me this email: It said: "Clickety clack, Clickety clack, Clickety clack, Clickety clack, Clickety clack, Clickety clack, Clickety clack, DING." Looks like he just learned how to install a computer Modem to his 1950's Remington typewriter.
CRAZY ERNIE sez: "If you multiply 111111 times 111111 the answer is 12345678987654321"

January 2, 2011

Isabelle Caro, French Model, 28

Isabelle Caro, French Model, 28

Dies from Anorexia at 28 years old

Girls, remember this as Karen Carpenter died young also from Anorexia.
Make sure you eat properly.

Here is Karen Singing one of her famous songs

We lost a very pretty talented artist with Karen's death.

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January 1, 2011

 HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FRIENDS

2011 is HERE

FROM: Crazy Ernie and Baumadine

We promise to bring you serious news and lots of laughter in
this NEW YEAR of 2011. Both the news and humor will have
Crazy Ernies weird, but humerous slant to it. :=)|

CRAZY ERNIE humor: Last night I staggered into the front door of a bar and asked for a drink. The bartender saw I was plastered and refused to serve me. I left and staggered into the side door and ordered a drink. Bartender said: "I told you, you are too drunk. Can I call you a cab?" I staggered out of the side door and entered through the back door and orderd a double scotch. Bartender said: "I told you no, you are too drunk. Either I call you a cab or I call the police." I finally said to him: "How many fucking bars do you work at?" (grin)
LAST NIGHT: Beumadine and I left the bar. We walked up to a Taxi and Beumadine said: "Hey guy, got room for a case of beer and a large Pizza?" Taxi driver said, "Sure do." So, Beumadine stuck her head in his back window and puked all over. Yuk.

 

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